memories...like the corners of my mind...sharp painful corners

I just had someone remind me of something from my past that brought back a flood of memories. There was this game we used to play during Lock-ins at our church. A Lock-in was when all the teenagers would stay in the church all night long and no one would sleep. During these lock-ins, we would play Sardines (just even typing that word brings feelings and smells and very vivid memories to mind).

Sardines is when all the lights throughout the church would be turned off and we would play hide and seek. We would hide anywhere in the church in the dark and someone would start looking. When you were found, you would have to join the seeking party. You would try and find a very secluded spot and stay extremely quiet. Many times the group doing the finding would be in the same room as you and stand right next to you in the dark and would not find you. It was crazy. This game would go on for hours. Thinking back, you have a bunch of teenagers hanging out in the dark, it's a wonder someone didn't get caught hooking up or something. Thinking back, I wish I would have thought of that then...

Those are such vivid memories, that I have not thought about in 15 years. I remember picking a small storage closet behind a classroom in the second floor of the education building. I laid down on a bunch of stuff that I could not see and just laid there and waited and waited. There was no air flow in this small closet and I could hear people come in and out of the room laughing and stumbling over the chairs I had put in the path toward the door of the closet. I was hot, sweaty and silent. The seeking group was having a blast, and I just laid there, in my hiding place, not coming out because I did not want to lose.

But I did lose. Sure I was one of the last ones found, but I lost out on the fun and laughing and community.