This can be overwhelming

It's been a while since I sat down to record my thoughts on the blogspot servers for all the interneters out there to read and critique. I have missed it greatly, and have thought about it every day, but recently I have found myself a bit intimidated. I follow this person on Twitter who gives great advice for writers. She sent a lot of tweets about rules all writers should follow and things writers should never do. Some of these pieces of advice were obvious and helpful, some were confusing to me and a few of these guidelines I knew I have violated in the past.

While I did appreciate the concepts, I was overwhelmed with the amount of rules and guidelines I needed to learn and remember and apply to be successful. Then there were other rules that did not match how my brain works and the voice I hear in my head when I write. I guess my voice is wrong.

That was a bit disheartening. I have worked at turning off the critical editor as I write. For years I had this voice in my head that made it's pure hate known for every word that my little fingers pecked out. That voice was so critical and took all the fun and creativity out of writing. That small bald angry editor's voice was debilitating and I did not write for years. I could only get a few sentences out on the screen before I would stop and agree with the small angry editor and delete it all and start over.

There were a few brief beautiful moments in which the words came forth with such speed and clarity that the editor could not keep up. He was furious at the amount of words pouring onto the screen and he would cringe with disgust as he would hear me giggle at the story that was taking shape before my eyes. If there as a way to capture that feeling, I would need nothing else in this world, and God does not want me to be that self sufficient.

So this post is my attempt to regain the fluidity I enjoyed in September and some of October. I hope this would help to quiet the editor and send him back to his dark office, only to be let out when I allow it.

Let's see how it goes...